Who (or What) Nudges You Forward: Spiritual Teachers in Disguise
Debbie’s Introduction
I believe spiritual growth always happens in perfect timing and in the perfect way, sometimes in ways that are more meaningful than we realize in the moment.
But have you ever considered the times in your life when you experienced true expansion? The times when new insights and understanding resonated so deeply that you could never imagine going back to what you used to believe.
If you journal on a regular basis you may begin to notice patterns in the times you experienced profound growth. You may notice it was based on similar situations and maybe even many of the same people. In fact, there may be one particular person or type of person or situation that turns up often.
Those individuals may not directly ‘teach’ you about spirituality, instead, they may do or say something that is a trigger or a nudge that eventually leads you to self-exploration, new discoveries, and spiritual growth.
For me, that person is my husband. And that’s why I believe we were always meant to be together in this lifetime and perhaps beyond. This doesn’t mean that our relationship is perfect. It’s not, there’s always room for growth. And over the decades there have been some uncomfortable periods.
However, each of those times and situations offered nudges. And I believe those periods lasted as long as it took for me to recognize the nudge and follow through with the inner work required. I had to meet my shadow aspects so I could understand them.
Through shadow work tempered with discernment, I had to discover more about myself, not only the ‘why’ behind my egoic traits, but how to understand them. From there it is possible to embrace those aspects as part of the whole of who you are. Integration and transformation follow.
Noticing the Nudges
A nudge can really be anything that resonates in some way. It can be something someone says or does, with or without intention. If it grabs your attention in some way or if you feel a subtle surge of curiosity, or it simply makes you want to contemplate, it could be a nudge of remembrance.
Nudges of remembrance are all around us, all the time. But we don’t always notice them. Sometimes we are too distracted by the noise around us. Rather than being in the moment, rather than being present, we may completely overlook the nudge or we may misinterpret it. That is, we might not see it as the gift that it is. Instead, we may only see it as an inconvenience or source of frustration or stress.
And here’s the feedback loop. There’s a nudge. If noticed, it can be interpreted as an opportunity for growth or as an unwelcome situation. If it’s seen as a source of frustration and you simply react, the frustration and your reaction are also nudges.
You get to choose how you see or interpret the frustration. You may choose to label the situation as negative and justify your feelings of frustration, irritation, anger, or whatever the case may be. You could also choose to see those feelings as shadow aspects that need attention.
Shadow Work for Growth
Discovering shadow aspects can be uncomfortable, and exploring them isn’t always easy. It requires working backward as you consider not only the current situation but also any past situations, beliefs, or circumstances that evoke similar emotions.
Many times we find that even as adults, we continue to carry with us beliefs that originated during childhood. And some of those beliefs still resonate as truth throughout life.
However, some may serve a purpose for a period of time but later seem to expire. This does not mean it was not helpful earlier. It simply means that something has changed. In some cases conditions may change. In others, it is you that has changed.
In truth, when we grow spiritually, we are remembering who we truly are. It’s like we peel away the layers of beliefs, thoughts, and emotions and re-discover our true Self. And through the process, our words, thoughts, beliefs, and responses are better aligned with our core values.
About Beliefs
Some of our beliefs are inherited and some are acquired through such things as conditioning, the expectations of society and others. And depending on what we believe, the way we perceive the world around us is impacted.
So what triggers one person may not be a trigger to another. Something that leaves one person reacting in a dramatic way may not affect another person at all.
We’re all on our own journey. The right nudges will be noticed along the way. Triggers will prompt our growth in the way we need to grow, and at the right time.
Through the process of inner work, we may discover that a longheld belief does not serve our greatest good. So we may choose to modify or release it.
It’s important to note that even outdated beliefs should be released with love and gratitude. Honor them for the good they provided before they became obsolete.
Final Thoughts
Spiritual Wisdom is not fully learned through a book or a teacher. The deeper Wisdom gained is learned through self-exploration and discovery. You will not find the answers out there. They are within you. They always have been.
The nudges in life are there to guide you to discovering what you need to know. Sometimes, the right people and situations arrive in our lives exactly when we are ready to learn from them.
The only real goal is quite simple: Know Thyself.
Merlin’s Closing
Sometimes the person who teaches us the most never intended to teach us anything at all.
A comment, a disagreement, a relationship, a frustration, or even a passing encounter can become a mirror if we are willing to look closely. The important question may not be, “Why did they do that to me?” but rather, “Why did this affect me so deeply?”
That question can open a door.
You don’t have to decide that every difficult experience was meant to happen for a reason. You don’t have to call every trigger a gift. Simply becoming curious about your own response may be enough.
Sometimes the nudge isn’t telling you what to believe.
It’s simply inviting you to look within.
And perhaps that is where the real teaching begins.